Thursday, September 17, 2009


Being a mother is one of the hardest things I have ever done...ever. I have been told I she is just like me and for that I am so sorry for everything I ever did to my mother. Seriously. On a TV show last night called Family Secrets, one of the first good points was how can you control your children if you can't even control yourself. It was as if I had been hit between the eyes..hard. I kind of like it when God does that. It is as if He is saying look at me Penny....look into my eyes. I did not give this child to make you strong..but to make you weak so you have to rely on me. I CAN NOT do this parenting thing alone. As a mother I desire to be less of me and more of HIM. I want Abby to see that I rely on God. But the fact is I don't. I rely on myself and fail miserably over and over. My words become harmful and my actions do not reflect the Love of God. I desire to surrender to our LORD and depend on HIM for everything. How do you get there? What must change? I will start with tonight finding situations where I can say yes. I read in a blog today that said why not? If it doesn't hurt them or their brother :) or damage the house why not yes? It seems as if I am saying NO to her all the time and often times it really doesn't matter. Now when she is sitting on Ethan's head holding him down, it matters but most of the time a mess here or there doesn't matter. I want to surround myself with Godly women and seek their advice. I want to become a student again...a student of the word of God. Somewhere I haven't been in a long time. I am not sure if anyone reads this anymore..but if you do please pray for me. Pray that I will make time to spend time with God first.

Abby started school this year. She is at The Anthony School and I love that she gets to take gymnastics and read it right SKATE. I will try to get pictures. After one session of gymnastics she came home and stood on her head with no help. She is so funny and full of life. She can make the silliest faces and those When she is serious...those eyes get real stern and can just as quickly turn to silliness. Bedtime is still no fun, but I feel like we have come to a common ground.

Ethan - he is just a turkey and there is no other way to discribe it. I LOVE hearing him say momma as soon as he comes through the door and he can climb up ANYTHING. He now can scale the bathroom counter and with one hand turn on the water and wash that hand...and then switch hands. If you are serious with him and say that hurt mommy when he hits...his heart melts. He is true boy and loves to play in the dirt and eat rocks. We have introduced potty training and he likes sitting there for a milisecond...then throw paper in there and flush. Not once have we been successful in going in the potty. That is ok. We were blesses with Abby being trained just over 12 we can take some time with Ethan. The paci is a different story. He will fight to the bitter end over that paci...and no the "paci fairy" will not work with him. He could care less about other babies needing pacies...thank you very much "The Nanny"

I will post some pictures soon but wanted to update those few but faithful.